To Make It Possible
by Jael K
Summary: When Sara Lance wakes up in a timeline she doesn't remember, with a man she can't let herself care for, she's desperate to return to the world she knows. But the longer she's here, the more she wonders... Or wants.
1. Wake Up

_"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible."_

 **-T.E. Lawrence**

At first, she assumes it's a dream.

The arms around her are warm and solid, but it _has_ to be a dream. Right? Sara Lance moves her head just a little, cheek rubbing against the upper arm that's tucked underneath her, and comes to the muzzy conclusion that her dream lover…sleeping companion…whatever…is a man, based on the roughness of the hairs there.

Of course, why would she be able to feel that so clearly, in a dream? The thought actually elicits a sleepy smile, even as her head continues to whirl. She's felt other things, far more strongly, in dreams, but why this would rank among them…

Her head is spinning so badly she can't focus. She takes another deep breath, feels the man whose arms are around her sigh against her hair, senses…

No. This is definitely a dream. Definitely. Because she knows that elusive scent of pine and peppermint, knows it even though she can only smell it in memory, memory and dream, now, as it's long since faded from the parka that she wouldn't even admit to stealing from storage…

His arms tighten around her, and this doesn't feel like a dream. It doesn't feel like a dream _at_ _all_.

She freezes despite herself, sucks in a breath, screws her eyes shut, wills herself to wake up.

Instead, she just hears a lazy voice next to her ear say, "Sara? Is something wrong?"

No. Yes.

 _ **No**_.

She's flung herself out of the bed before she can even articulate the thought, landing on a plush blue-gray carpet and rolling, barely registering her current lack of nightclothes even as she lifts the hand with the knife she'd known, _known_ , was tucked into a corner of the headboard….

…and throws.

She never misses, but she does this time, and for a long moment, both she and the man in the bed just stare at the razor-sharp blade that's _thunked_ into the headboard, so close, so very close, to the hand he's stretched out toward her.

"Sara," Leonard Snart repeats carefully, "what the fuck?"

Everything around her is not what it should be, from the room that's very definitely not her cabin on the Waverider to her current state of undress. But he's the thing she can't take her eyes off, not for a variety of reasons, from the fact that he's the second most deadly thing in the room to the fact that he's shirtless, at least shirtless, though she can't see past the sheet tucked around his hips, and...

She scuttles backward, still not taking her eyes off him, grabbing a blanket off a chair and wrapping it around herself in a move that perhaps has no true defensive value, but makes her feel a bit less... exposed. He watches her, tracking her movements but not so much as twitching, and it's the sheer lack of self-consciousness in him that convinces her that this is no Leonard Snart she'd ever known in life, not the teammate and friend and _almost_ and not the rat bastard...

" _When_ am I?" she lashes out verbally. "Is this the Dominators again? Because it's not going to work, I'll..."

At that, he does sit up, holding up both hands to show her he's unarmed. She can't help staring, even in her current state of semi-panic, at the lean muscle on arms and chest and the scattering of scars she'd always suspected were there.

"Sara," he says yet again, tone even. "I think you're dreaming. The Dominators are gone. We kicked their asses about four months ago." A pause. "It's April 2017. Same as it was yesterday."

Yesterday.

 _I think we broke time._

"I went to sleep on the Waverider yesterday," she tells him numbly, despite herself. "Passed out, really. We'd crashed... we'd damaged something... the timeline..."

"No." He moves, freezes as she drops into an attack stance. "The Waverider's fine, Sara. Mick had to take it to the Vanishing Point; he dropped us off yester..."

"No, he dropped _you_ off, not even yesterday." The words bubble up, full of all the emotion she didn't let herself show while it was all going on. "In 2014, where and when _they_ got you. I didn't even... " Why is she bothering to do this? She takes another step backward, then grabs for the shirt and pants she'd glimpsed there during her earlier motion.

" _Sara_." The feeling in his voice sends a chill through her even as she tries to harden herself to it, because this isn't real, it _can't_ be. "I'm sorry; I don't know what the hell is going on, OK? We'll contact Mick, get the Waverider back here, ask Gideon..."

She's tugging on undergarments and pants under the blanket, trying to feel like she's not wearing another woman's clothing, trying not to listen and fall into another woman's life, to fall for this... "Where am I?" she interrupts him, glancing his way, but avoiding the expression in those blue eyes. "This isn't the ship."

"We're in Central City." A pause, one so tense that she nearly makes the mistake of meeting his eyes. "I can't... we... needed a home base and you said it made sense..." His voice trails off as she takes a step backward, pulling the shirt on also under the blanket, shaking her head in denial of his words.

"Look," she tells him, thus armored and letting the blanket fall to the floor. "I don't know what's going on here, but _I_ didn't say that. I wasn't here. And I don't know what happened to time, or... or who you really are, but I'm not going to play pretend. I'm going to find out, and I'm going to fix this."

And, with a deep sigh, she finally lets herself look right at him again.

So she can see it then, the very instant he starts to fold back in on himself.

Over the course of their first handful of months on the Waverider, she'd watched his body language more than she cares to admit, noticed how guarded he tended to be around nearly everyone. She'd noticed when that careful posture started to relax around her, and she'd matched it with her own relaxation, always wondering, even as he'd said the words himself, what the future might hold...

Then he'd died.

Then he'd come back, in a way, and broken her heart in a way she'd admitted to absolutely no one.

Watching now, she sees this Leonard Snart, a man who'd seemed relaxed and almost... happy... revert to the closed-in, secretive body language of the crook who'd first walked onto the Waverider-and the arrogant asshole who'd stunned them all when he'd showed up with the Legion.

She's caused that. Here. Now. No matter what's going on, how fake a world this is, she's caused that pain, that retreat.

And despite everything... the realization hurts.

But she doesn't say anything, doesn't let it show.

 _This isn't real. None of it is real..._

"Right," he says then, and his voice is every bit as cold as she's ever heard it. "If you'll... step out for a moment, then, I'll be with you in a minute.

"And we can start getting to the bottom of this."


	2. Can't Be Real

Once she's outside of the bedroom, out of the presence of a man who's far too capable of getting under her skin in whatever incarnation, Sara allows herself to take a breath. Then another.

And then she turns around and takes a good look at the apartment… and feels that breath getting knocked right out of her again.

Cozy and well-lit, it's all too plausible as a place that's… hers. Hers and Leonard's. Swallowing hard, she spins slowly, taking in the slightly worn but comfortable furniture, the presence of two very familiar looking coats (black leather and white leather) thrown over a chair, shoes she actually remembers buying kicked off by the door. There are framed photos here and there—her favorite one of her dad and Laurel, one showing her mom, one showing a dark-haired woman with a familiar smirk.

She glances away as she hears the shower start in a bathroom that's apparently just off the bedroom, biting her lip, then casts about, trying to instinctively figure out where she'd hide weapons in this setting. And, there... a sheathed throwing knife, tucked just under a sofa cushion, and a collapsed bo nestled under the sofa itself. She tucks the latter into a belt loop, strapping the sheath to her forearm and loosening the straps so she can shake the blade out just _so_.

It's easier to focus on these practical actions rather than think about where she is, the way that the man in the other room had looked at her, the way she'd woken, curled warm and content in his arms…

The man who'd worked with the Legion, who'd tried to kill them all.

And at the same time, the very same goddamned time, the man who'd _saved_ them all.

She can't let herself believe…

Stepping behind the sofa, she runs a gentle hand along the blanket draped casually over its back, a familiar blanket knitted from a velvety periwinkle blue yarn for her by a family friend when she was just a baby. She didn't take it on the Waverider; Laurel had been keeping it for her.

The texture is exactly the same as she remembers.

 _This can't be real._

 _Can it?_

* * *

Leonard's pretty sure it's foolish to take the time for the shower. This angry, skittish version of Sara Lance is waiting, presumably, in their... in the living room, and who even knows what it would take to send her running out into the night, alone. He shouldn't be delaying.

But. He needs a minute to collect himself, and somehow it feels right to wash away any trace of dried sweat, of what they'd done to and with each other, only hours ago as far as he remembers, before falling asleep entwined, as they have so many times since she'd first come to his room that night on the ship…

He takes another deep breath, ducking his head under the steaming spray of water and reaching for the soap.

If he's honest with himself, a tiny bit of him has been expecting... something. Not this, really, not a Sara who suddenly wakes and stares at him like a despised stranger. Last he'd known, the timeline was stable. Gideon would have said something if it wasn't.

But... _something_ going sideways. He's on borrowed time, has been ever since the Oculus; literally, in a way. And he'd known that, eventually, he'd have to pay the piper.

He's done too much shit in his life, he thinks, pausing to study the twisted scar on his forearm as the water runs along the ridges and furrows. Far too much to expect a happily-ever-after. He'd hoped maybe he'd taken out some of the red in his ledger with what he'd done on board the Waverider, at the Vanishing Point. But it seems like that's not the case. Not the case, after all.

Superstitious? A bit. But it doesn't change the fact that, apparently, he's been right.

Bad guys don't get happy endings. And they sure as hell don't get them with the likes of Sara Lance.

Leonard Snart lets out a long, slow breath, allowing himself to lean his forehead against the white fiberglass as he reaches out to turn the warm water over to cold, letting the chilly spray hit him without a flinch, then turning his face into it.

With any luck, it'll take away some of the red he's all too sure is around his eyes.

* * *

Sara's trying not to look around the apartment—and failing—when a noise from the bedroom draws her attention back to that doorway. She knows how quietly Leonard can move when he wants to, so she's forced to conclude that he's done it on purpose, and can't help a rush of gratitude.

 _This isn't him_. She swallows, hand on knife, watching the man saunter out from the short hallway. _Not really. You know it's not... he showed you who he really was, with the Legion..._

But as he stops and looks at her, dressed now in black jeans and shirt, so much more the Leonard she remembers, it's really hard to remind herself of that.

His eyes go to the knife and then to her eyes, and she's positive she sees a flash of something there. But then it's gone.

"So," he says, voice still devoid of... anything, really. "I take it we're not precisely... friends... wherever..." Head tilt. "... _whenever_ you're from."

"We were," she whispers, despite herself, and sees his eyes widen at her words. But after a long and pregnant pause, he looks away again.

"Well, from the knife you tried to put into my throat, I'm guessing I'm the one that fucked it up." There's a hint of the drawl there now, that habitual verbal armor. "So. I guess the first thing to do is to figure out where... when... things changed for the timeline _you_ remember."

And spend more time here? With _him_? "No," she reminds him sharply. "You said you'd call the Waverider. Gideon's records..."

"Calm down." He lifts his hands, sounding so weary it makes another twinge of unwanted sympathy run through her. "I already did. And, yeah..." he interrupts her next words, "you'll just have to take my word for it. But Raymond built a beacon we can use if necessary, and I activated it a few minutes ago." A hooded glance. "It'll take a while; can't say how long. In the meantime, might as well work on this puzzle."

She hesitates, unwilling to stay there but unable to come up with an alternative to running headlong into a world that may have changed in ways she can't yet fathom. "Ray. Ray Palmer? He's here, in Central, not on the ship? Where is he? Maybe he..."

His frown is fleeting as he takes another step closer. "Actually, I already called the Nerds too." She can hear the capital letter in the nickname. "They don't remember anything being different either. But until the Waverider is back, they're probably the best bet for help." Another odd glance. "I don't know about you, but I really don't want to involve Allen and his friends."

Sara's still stuck on the name. "The _Nerds_? Who... Nate? He's here too?"

"Who the hell is Nate? No, the Boy Scout and..." His eyes narrow just a trifle and he raises an eyebrow at her. "...Stein."

She gives him a wary look. "I thought you said Jax was still on the ship, and Martin..."

"Wrong Stein." Still he waits and finally, she gets it.

"Lily? Martin's daughter? You have her _here_ too?" She actually laughs in pleasure and a little relief. "That's one thing I remember, then. How..."

She catches herself, though. Leonard, who'd smiled a little at the sound of her laughter, frowns again. "How different is it that you think there's only _one_ thing?" she hears him muse quietly before he lifts his voice. "How? Usual way." A shrug. "Professor had a 'talk' with his younger self, he said. Some talk."

She can't help remembering how she'd imagined Leonard's snarky response when they'd first found out about Lily. "And Ray's working with her?"

"Boy Scout's 'working' about as much as Stein had a 'talk.' " His tone is wry, and so familiar, and he nods at her raised eyebrows. "Raymond likes to make sure he takes his own breaks from the Waverider at times when the Professor stays onboard. Doesn't need the protective father around. He's not fooling anyone, except maybe ol' Silvertop himself, but..."

"Oh, _well_ , I see..." She feels the smile on her lips, stops herself. So damned easy, to fall into the old habits of treating this man like a teammate, like... "When? You said they're the best bet. Where are they? I have to..."

"They'll be here as soon as they can." His gaze is wounded again, and it _hurts_. "Stein's apartment's across town and it's morning rush hour. They'll get here. I have to believe they can fix this."

Sara turns away, hardening her heart, remembering cold blue eyes in the brig... and the sight of him with the Legion. "They better."


	3. What If I Could

After a moment, Leonard turns away, heading off to the side into the kitchen she'd caught a glimpse of earlier. Sara sighs as she feels his eyes leave her, the weight of the regard like a physical thing.

Aimless, she turns, meaning to go to a window and make sure the changes here aren't even more profound than she thinks. (Say, dinosaurs loose in the streets.) But as she does so, her eyes catch two other photos, just snapshots printed and propped against some books on a shelf, and for a second, she can only stare.

Her hand actually shakes as she reaches out to pick up the snap of her, and Ollie, and Felicity, and... and Leonard. She knows right where it was taken, and when, the day they'd been honored for beating the Dominators, Teams Flash and Arrow and Legends, but...

She and Felicity are leaning into each other, grinning, and Felicity's other arm is wrapped around Oliver's waist. Fully garbed in green, he's looking past the women, at her other side, giving the certified Oliver Queen stink-eye to the man with his arm thrown over Sara's shoulders, a smirk directed at the mayor of Star City. He's wearing his parka, but the hood is down and his goggles are around his neck, and this didn't happen, he was _gone_ , he was dead...

There's a noise from the kitchen and she jumps, glancing back over her shoulder in odd guilt. But nothing happens, and she turns back, gently replacing the photo.

Next to it is the team snapshot they'd had taken, every one of the heroes of the day together. She scans it, counting heads. Everyone's there. It's much as she remembers. With that one notable addition.

Leonard's arm is around her again. He's looking at her. She's looking at him. And the feelings there are just so damned blatant that they take her breath away.

She stares at it another long moment, focused on the two of them, then looks at the others again. And finally realizes what she hasn't asked yet.

She nearly runs into the kitchen, stuttering to a halt at the domestic scene before her. Leonard is standing at the stove, spatula in hand, other hand holding the handle of a skillet. He glances at her, then turns back to his work, and she can't help taking a step closer to see if her sense of smell is misleading her.

"French toast?" The question comes out pitched oddly, and she closes her eyes briefly at the sound of her own voice.

"MmmHmm." He runs the spatula under the piece and flips it. "There's coffee made over there. If you want it."

Numbly, she glances around and then drifts toward the coffee maker, still watching him. "I love French toast."

A mild, "I know" is all she gets in return. She opens one cupboard door at random, then another, looking for a coffee mug—even in the midst of a world turned upside down, there's no reason to go without caffeine. She can feel him watching her, but on the third try, she finds a shelf full of mugs and glasses and takes a "Jitters" mug at random.

The coffee is fresh and strong, just the way she likes it. No sooner has she taken a sip then Leonard slides a plate with a few evenly browned, luscious-smelling slices of French toast over to her, setting a fork and butter knife down next to it. He shrugs when she stares at him.

"You still have to eat." He turns back toward the skillet. "It's tradition, anyway."

"Tradition?" What the hell; she cuts and eats a forkful. Amazing; cinnamon in there, somewhere, and just the right amount of _crisp_...

"French toast on Sunday mornings." He stares at the stove a moment, then shakes his head and moves the skillet off the burner, turning the flame off. "Even on the Waverider. Better here, though."

Just like home... how could she have forgotten _again_?

"Laurel. Is my sister here?" Anyone who was going to try to trap her in an ideal world would have to...

But Leonard is shaking his head, and there's a look in his eyes that's a painful mix of sympathy and... is that guilt?

"No. No. She..." He hesitates, leaning back the counter. "How... in the timeline..."

"She died. In the spring, after I left on the Waverider. I didn't find out for a few months." She swallows, the French toast ashes in her mouth. _Right after_ you _died._ "Damien Darhk killed her." _And you worked with him anyway..._

"Yeah. Same here." He glances at her, then away. "I tried, Sara. I really did."

"Tried... what?" She blinks at him, belatedly realizing that she's staring.

"Tried to help you save her." His brow furrows. "What, you mean you don't rem... I didn't..."

If he finds out he's dead in the real timeline... well, she's just had experience with what he'd do to try to change that. She stares at him, mentally scrambling for an explanation as he gazes back.

"Leonard..." she says finally, trying for distraction and a mock-stern tone, knowing that getting him to brag has the best chance of working.

He allows it, a slight smile crossing his face. "Well." Sidelong glance from underneath those damned lashes. "I was a hell of a thief."

 _You'd better be one hell of a thief._ "What did you do?!"

"I stole the jump ship. Right out from under Rip's nose." Definitely pride in the words, there. "Took you back to Star City." He shrugs, missing the look on her face. "I'm sorry. Rip had been right about this one. There wasn't any chance of... of saving her, not without you and your dad dying too." She schools her expression as he looks back at her. "But we made it to the hospital; you did get to say goodbye. And..." A flash of something dark and cold in his eyes. "… _you_ got to kill Darhk. I know you're not trying to do that sort of thing anymore, but that... well, that needed doing."

For a few seconds, all she can do is stare at him.

She couldn't help, in those painful days after his death and then the horrible gut-punch finding out about Laurel's, thinking about how much she wished he'd been there. Backup against Rip with the usual Snart fuck-the-rules attitude, a shoulder to cry on from someone who'd understand the whole sibling thing, a distraction with cards and booze and snark when she just needed to forget for a little while.

And other potential pleasant distractions always there between them-until he was gone, and it was too late.

She'd missed him so much, the way he'd seemed to understand her, the way he'd had her back, the oddly familiar way they'd worked together. The flickers of a deeper affection rising at odd times, confidences over cards and that sense of _connection_...

She'd buried it, because she couldn't save him any more than she could save Laurel. She'd carried on, refusing to let it show, because there was work to be done and grief for a _maybe_ wasn't productive or helpful.

And then he'd showed up with the Legion, and maybe she hadn't known Leonard Snart as well as she thought she had.

Or...had she? Stealing the jump ship... that is just much a thing her... Leonard would do.

The little voice at the back of her head speaks up, then, getting past her defenses for the first time since she'd woke up here: _What if this_ is _the correct timeline?_

 _What if I could_ keep _this?_

 _Would I want to?_

What if something they'd changed had led here, to this? But then, how is that Ray, at least, doesn't seem to remember before? And why does she?

Leonard is gazing back at her, and she thinks maybe he guesses a fraction of her thoughts, judging from the look in his eyes.

But neither of them, at this point, get a chance to speak.

At that moment, someone hammers on the apartment door, making both of them jump, and Leonard turns swiftly aside, straightening from his slouch against the counter as he moves toward the door, a purposeful stalk that manages to carry suspicion. Sara, watching with a hand on her knife, notices as he casually scoops up something...a weapon?... as he moves past a table, then pauses before taking a look through the door's peephole.

His expression changes as he does so, and he throws the latch and opens the door, leading a dark-haired woman to nearly tumble in.

Lily Stein's eyes are wide as she catches herself on Leonard's arms, a familiarity that Sara notices makes him flinch, although he accepts it. Martin's daughter takes a shaky breath, staring at him, flicking her gaze to Sara and then back to the crook.

"It's Ray," she blurts out. "He's gone. He just... vanished!"


	4. Breaking Point

"Vanished!?" Sara repeats, taking a step forward. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said." Lily gives Leonard's arm an awkward pat and rights herself, taking a deep breath. "We had to park a block away and he turned back because he thought he forgot to lock the car and then... he just wasn't there anymore." She wraps a hand around her wrist. "There didn't seem to be any phenomena, and I'm still wearing this bracelet he gave me, so he wasn't just _erased_... but... you remember him, right? Her eyes, looking at Leonard, are pleading. "He wasn't erased?"

"Yeah. You saw him vanish?" Len's voice is gentler than Sara would expect, especially given his general state of exasperation with Ray. But apparently these two know each other pretty well... and doesn't that feel strange? She glances around uncomfortably, the odd one out in this room, then back as Lily collects herself.

"Well. No. It was sort of out of the corner of my eye; I was checking the scanner and kind of turned..." At that moment, she turns her head and takes a fuller look at Sara, blinking and then stopping right in the middle of the sentence to give her an actual once-over. Sara can't help folding her arms and feeling a little annoyed at the scrutiny coming from a woman she barely knows, but that doesn't seem to bother Lily.

"No, you're not the Sara I know," she says then, decisively, so much so that Sara and Leonard both blink. "Your whole body language is different. The question is just, why are you on a different timeline? Did you get swapped with our Sara? Are you a trace of something that's in the process of changing? Is that what happened to Ray? Do you know what the factor..."

"Stein." Again, Leonard's voice is gentle, if a little long-suffering, and even the way he says the surname sounds utterly unlike the way she's heard him deliver Martin Stein's. (To her horror, Sara finds herself stomping fiercely on a tendril of jealousy.) "We don't know. Not yet. That's the _problem_."

Lily looks slightly embarrassed. "Ah. Yes. Of course. I just..." The look she gives Leonard has anguish in it, lurking behind the scientific curiosity and businesslike attitude, and Sara wonders that she didn't see it before. "It's just... Ray."

"We'll get the Boy Scout back," Leonard tells her. "We'll fix it. Always do. Now. _Sara_."

Lily nods to him, drawing herself together. "Right. Well, we need to figure out where the break is in what _this_ Sara remembers happening and what we know... remember happening." She frowns momentarily as she glances at the other woman. "Do I... even exist in your timeline, though?" She waves a hand at Sara's frown. "Yes, I know I'm a walking aberration. I'd just as soon remain one."

"You do," Sara tells her. "Exist. From what he..." She refuses to look at Leonard. "...says, same basic, well, origin."

"Good." Lily reaches into her bag and pulls out a tablet. "I mean it's not like we haven't had blips before, back here, with everything you all do, but..."

"Wait... blips?"

"Well, you and the Waverider are out there changing time. Sometimes things happen. We've always gotten people back before, though!" As Sara digests this information, delivered so blithely, Lily continues. "Ray and I have been keeping track of as many timeline tweaks as we can, just because Gideon's not always here. I'll see if I can make any connections."

 _Gideon? Why not 'the Waverider'..._ But Lily is looking expectantly at her, and Sara's known it's going to come to this, that she's going to have to tell this Leonard what seems, at the moment, to be the biggest difference in their timelines, that he's here and not...

She's aware Leonard's watching her, but she still starts when he speaks.

"Stein," he says again. "Can we have a minute?"

Something in his tone clues Lily into the rise in an already notable amount of tension, and the other woman blinks, then lowers the tablet she'd been tinkering with.

"Oh," she says. "Right. I'll go in the spare room—OK?-and see if I have any messages or can find trace of any time blips on our program. I forgot he said... you tried..." She nibbles her bottom lip, looking at Leonard, then at Sara. "You weren't... together? You know, _together_ together." She looks thoughtful. "Although I _have_ seen you throw knives at him even so..."

Briefly, Sara wonders about that, but she keeps her reaction to a curt shake of the head. Lily darts a glance at Leonard, whose face is cold and closed off, then sighs.

"Wow," she says sadly. "I mean... you two were always sort of... relationship goals, you know?"

And with those astonishing words, she leaves them, walking into another room to the side and politely closing the door to give them their...minute.

Leonard sighs, then leans against the doorway to the kitchen, watching Sara intently, just like he watched her...

"Spill," he says, his voice flat. "What's the difference? Pretty sure I have an idea."

For the sake of thoroughness, she takes a deep breath, then runs down the basic events from the time they'd both boarded the Waverider back in early 2016. And as she'd suspected, he remembers the same-right up to sauntering into her room with a deck of cards and "me and you" on his lips, her "hell of a thief" comment her only response. Then she stops.

Sara's silent a moment, Leonard watching her.

"You're dead," she says bluntly, looking at a point over his left shoulder. "You died at the Oculus. You held down the fail-safe instead of Mick and we had to leave you. The Vanishing Point blew up. You're _dead_."

Those words, so painful still to hear out loud, even after... everything... seem to hang in the air. But Leonard shows no sign of surprise, barely any reaction at all. His laser gaze remains fixed on her, belying his casual lean against the door frame.

"And," he says carefully, after a moment, "you... the Waverider, I mean... you didn't go back?"

"Go back? To the Vanishing Point. Not until months later; there wasn't much left. Why?"

He starts to speak, then pauses, and there's an odd look on his face before he shakes his head again. "In a minute. If I did that, why did you try to put a knife in me when you realized it was _me_?"

And this hurts even worse.

"The Legion... people we were fighting... they went back and recruited an earlier version of you," she said finally. "You...did some damage. I can't really tell you more than that."

She looks back at him, then, noting the furrowed brow and the frown on his face.

"Ah," is all he says. "I don't... but you figure the big difference is what happened at the Oculus?"

"Doesn't it have to be? You're here. You're not... you're not _there_." Damn it. There's the tiniest of breaks in her voice. Sara closes her eyes and brings her chin up, steeling herself for more. "What happened here?"

Another moment of silence.

" _That_ did," he says simply, a hint of the drawl in the words. "Me. Oculus. Boom."

Her eyes fly open, darting to his own. "What? How..."

Leonard shrugs, straightening and taking a step toward her... stopping, though, as she takes a step back.

"As it was told to me," he says slowly, "the ship was on the way out of the Vanishing Point ahead of the explosion when Rip... well, Gideon... detected an odd time signal from the far side of the blast zone. Something that shouldn't have been there, something that freaked Rip out. So he waited until the explosion cleared and circled back around."

He watches her carefully. "They tell me I was suspended in the time stream, somehow. I don't remember. I only remember waking up in the medbay, days later. You were there. You threatened me. Said..."

The word trickles off, Leonard shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. Few days later, we … well, we beat Savage and took Rip's offer to stay on with the Waverider. The rest is... history.." His eyes close, then open, again hard and brittle as blue ice. "But I'm guessing you didn't turn around. In your world." His voice is colder, too. "Seems we found our breaking point."

Sara's staring at him, and she knows she probably looks foolish, but she just can't rip her eyes away. The dull ache of pain that had lodged in her breastbone when she'd first gotten a good look at him after waking up here hasn't gone away. And now it's growing worse, a spreading sense of horror and hurt that's making it hard to breathe.

"You were alive," she whispers. "After the explosion?"

"So I'm told." His tone is dry as dust.

She turns away from him, then back, agitated, unable to stop wondering. "No. We didn't turn around. There was no … time signal, no reason at all to believe... Do you..." She drags in a deep breath, unable to keep herself from asking. "Could you..."

"Could I have survived in your timeline? Don't see any reason why not." His eyes soften a little. "Sara. You didn't know. We'll have to ask Rip and Gideon what they saw, to make them turn around, here. I've only heard about the whole thing, and I don't know if anyone else ever asked."

The thought that all those months mourning him, missing him, never letting anyone see how she'd cared… and Mick, oh god, Mick, who'd lost his oldest friend and surely blamed himself even more surely than she had…

"It's been a year now," she tells him a bit numbly. "And... things are so different. I don't know…"

"Well, it was sort of suspended animation. I doubt a year versus a few minutes would make much difference." He takes another step toward her. "Still. You'll forgive me if I don't know that I want to restore it. Your timeline. I just want…"

The words, and the ones that might come after them, hang in the air for a moment as they stare at each other. Leonard caves first, looking away with a casual Snart shrug that doesn't fool Sara for a second.

"Well, maybe it's not a different timeline?" she manages. "Maybe I... got switched to a different Earth. And I just have to find a way back. I mean... do you know Supergirl?"

"I do. Dominators, remember?" An odd, almost fond and slightly exasperated expression crosses his face. "So you don't remember... you didn't _live_ through... the time my sister took Kara, Alex and Maggie out for a beer?"

"Who are Alex and Maggie?"

"OK, so no, then. Remind me to tell you the story." A ghost of a smile touches his lips. "I see the point, though."

They lapse into silence again, Leonard's eyes on her face, Sara trying to look anywhere but him and failing absolutely. Finally, though, she gives in, lets the question that's been trying to bubble up do so.

"How did we..."

There's the tiniest flinch in the skin around Leonard's eyes as she says that and his expression closes off again. Sara immediately regrets the impulsive words, but that genie's not going back in the bottle, so she simply waits.

"I'm not telling you that," he says finally. "Maybe at some point. But it's not fair to either of us to get into it. Not now."

Now, why the hell does she feel guilty? "I didn't…"

"Yeah." Blue eyes meet and hold hers, and Sara can't help catching her breath again. "I get it. But…"

The phone he'd placed on a nearby table buzzes then, cutting off the painful conversation, and Leonard takes the out, crossing to scoop it up and check the display as Sara takes a deep breath.

"The Waverider's back," he says tersely. "Mick wants to know what the hell's going on. Let's go tell him what we suspect… and ask Gideon if she has any ideas."


	5. All Aboard

The usual Central City parking spot for the Waverider isn't as she remembers it, which is cause for a momentarily flash of oddly mixed triumph and disappointment until Leonard informs her that too many "incidents" there had led to a regular congregation of conspiracy theorists hoping to spot something. Now, the ship has a rotating list of stops, none of which are the original.

This one is near a derelict industrial site near the north side, the sort of spot beloved of villains and gangs. They park in the shadow of a crumbling building and head farther into the complex, which looks a bit sinister even in the late morning sun. (Lily checks her car's lock about six times and then sticks close behind them, looking determined if somewhat intimidated.)

Leonard slows as they approach a clearing, what might have been a large central lot when the site was active. He taps at his phone one more time and Sara watches as the Waverider shimmers into view ahead of them.

The hatch lowers and, after a moment, Mick Rory comes strolling out.

Sara can tell immediately that it's not the Mick she knows, not quite. Oh, this man physically looks the same, more or less. The change is all in how he carries himself. Mick's always had a sense of easy mayhem about him, but here it's carried with a sense of...of...

It's confidence, she thinks, suddenly, the sort born of being respected and listened to, of having something to contribute and knowing it. Co-captain, Leonard had said. A position of trust.

This Mick, she thinks with guilt, wouldn't have given up the spear. He never would have considered it. This Mick had grown into the team. Or the team had grown into him?

He _fit_ here. Had been allowed to fit here. Was it all because he'd never lost his friend and partner? Or was there more to it than that? More that she, as captain and especially _friend,_ should have seen?

The thoughts bring on a wave of regret so strong she bites her lip and glances away from him. She feels Len's eyes on her, but he doesn't say anything, and after a moment she looks back at this Mick, who has apparently picked up on something.

"Blondie?" he says, studying her with a look of concern. "What's up? You don't look quite..." Abruptly, he stops mid-sentence and lifts his head to glare at Leonard. "What, did you knock her up or something? On the ship? Because you know Gideon said..."

Leonard blinks, a blank look overtaking his features, while Sara's mouth drops open.

"Ex _cuse_ me?" she finally says. "Gideon..."

" _No_ ," Leonard cuts in, tone curt. "Jesus, Mick."

"Not that, then, huh?" The lighter tone falls away and Mick crosses his arms, frowning. "What's going on?"

Sara can feel more than see Leonard's sigh from where he stands next to her.

"She doesn't remember, not the same," he says, voice empty of any emotion. "She woke up and tried to knife me this morning..."

"Been expecting that for a while..."

Leonard glares at him but continues. "She says this isn't her timeline. She's not... not the Sara we know." He holds up a hand as Mick drags in a surprised breath. "You guys make any stops? Anything strange happen?"

"No. Nothing. Had just started on the way back to the Vanishing Point for the repairs. Jax is complaining steadily about how we treat _his_ ship, but..." He takes a step closer, studying Sara, who sighs and finally meets his eyes.

He considers her for a moment, and while she usually finds Mick easy to read, Sara can't parse out all the pieces of this man's complicated expression. There's compassion there, though, and she tells herself sternly not to bend because of it.

She can't forget this isn't home.

"Damn," he says finally. "Sorry, Blondie." He glances at Leonard, who still looks stony, then sighs and looks back at her. "Not your timeline? Gideon didn't say anything about an aberration. What's changed? I mean, we've had blips before, but nothing like..."

"Blips?" It's the second time someone's used that word. "What do you mean, _blips_? Is that why..." Sara can't help looking at Lily, who's looking upset but determined again.

Mick notices, and frowns at the other woman. But when he speaks, his voice is gentle.

"And what's up with you, kiddo? Where's Haircut? Normally you two are joined at the hip during shore leave."

Lily looks like she's going to cry. "He... it was another of those, Mick. Just... _poof_. I remember him, we all seem to, he hasn't been erased." She touches her bracelet again. "He's just gone."

"Damn," Mick repeats. "OK. Yeah. I think we need to take this to the 'experts.'" (Sara can't help a small smile at the air quotes he sketches.)

"Gideon... and the 'Time Master' himself." Some things never change; sarcasm is arch in Leonard's tone at the title, although it's almost fond in a way. "Nothing from Rip either, I take it?"

"Nope." Mick regards him. "You know you're not supposed to go back there."

"Tough." Leonard meets his old friend's eyes and Sara, watching, can see a pain shining in them that's a kick in the stomach. "I need to fix this, Mick. She... I..."

His voice trails off, and Mick glances at Sara before looking back at Leonard, then giving him a rough slap on the shoulder and a nod.

"Hey, man," he says. "I get it. We'll fix it. And we'll get Haircut back, too. Now..." He steps back and waves at the Waverider. "Come on. All aboard."


	6. This Is a New One

Lily elects to stay behind, just in case Ray returns. Sara wants to ask, again, how common these blips seem to be, but Mick is chivvying them toward the Waverider and she allows herself to be herded. Once she and Leonard are safely on board, he leaves to escort the younger woman back to her car, with a stern order to Sara and Leonard not to "do anything stupid."

While Sara could take the Waverider without him, it doesn't seem wise, and she follows Leonard down the familiar corridor without a word.

The ship looks exactly the same, as far as she can tell. All the changes Jax made after their defeat of Savage, he made here as well. She lets out a breath at the sight of the bridge, where not so long ago she'd helped with frantic repairs. It's whole, here, and sound, although there's no one else around.

Presumably Jax and Stein are on the ship somewhere. She turns, uncomfortably ignoring Leonard as he watches her silently, and wonders…

She's enough on edge that when she catches a movement from the corner of her eye—and her brain registers the shape as "unfamiliar"-she spins, hand going to a knife tucked in her other sleeve. The newcomer, a dark-haired woman dressed in ordinary 2017 street clothes, stops in her tracks where she'd emerged from the corridor.

She cocks her head to the side in an inquisitive gesture, but doesn't move, watching Sara with curious eyes. Leonard, though, does move, swiftly interposing himself between the two with his hands held out to Sara.

"Hey," he says. "Chill. It's OK." He glances over his shoulder at the dark-haired woman. "Think we found something else that's different in your timeline."

"Her _timeline_?" the other woman asks, and Sara doesn't know whether to relax or tense more. Because she knows that voice.

"Gideon?"

The woman looks puzzled, then understanding. "Ah," she says, an odd note in her voice, "I take it there is another time... what is the word Captain Rory insists on using? Time blip." She takes a step toward Sara, a frown on her face. "This... is a new one."

Then Gideon's frown deepens. "I take it I only have the one body—the metal one—in your time?" She pats the wall fondly, but her eyes don't leave Sara's.

In hindsight, the woman does look much the same as the humanized Gideon she'd seen once in Rip Hunter's mind, Sara thinks, letting her hand drop away from the knife and waving to Leonard that he can back off.

"Yes," she says, a bit tersely, but unable to keep the curiosity out of her voice. "Just the ship. How..."

"I have a fabrication room, and medical technology that can replicate body parts. I fabricated myself a body. A human body." Gideon sounds just a little bit smug as she holds her hands up before her, turning them this way and that. She's painted her nails bright purple, Sara notices, and somehow that ludicrous detail helps make the whole thing more real. "Mr. Snart actually gave me the idea, watching something called 'Doctor Who.' "

Gideon frowns again, then, apparently noticing the somewhat nonplussed expression is still on Sara's face, and looks down at herself. "Do you not find this body attractive?" she asks thoughtfully. "You said you did before, but that you had already taken up with Mr. Snart. I think you were partly teasing him, but it was still nice to know."

That actually startles a laugh out of Sara, although besides her, Leonard makes a choking noise. "You're lovely, Gideon," she says quietly. "I'm just a little... I feel very out of my element. You're just one more piece of that."

The … AI? What is she now?... nods, satisfied. "That's OK. I am relatively accustomed to this body at this point, but I wish to be even more comfortable before I, as Captain Rory says, make a move on anyone." She smiles at Sara, who wonders what expression her own face holds at that moment. "Still, I have plans."

Sara hears Leonard choking again, but only manages, "Ah."

"Not with either of you, though. Now, I need to know more about this blip if we are to figure this out." Gideon walks past her, toward the office that used to be Rip's. "Have you ascertained what the point of divergence was?"

"The Oculus."

The AI stops in her tracks, then spins to look at him. " _What_?"

There's something in her voice—fear? worry? something even more complicated?—that Sara has never heard there before. She stops too, and looks at Leonard, who's halted besides her.

"The Oculus," Leonard repeats. And from the way he's watching Gideon, Sara thinks he's picked up on something off, too. "After I blew up the Time Bastards." He looks at Sara, who wants to look away at his expression, but doesn't. "In her timeline, they didn't rescue me. Whatever Rip—whatever _you_ —saw that caused you to turn the Waverider around, it didn't happen." He takes another step forward. "What was it? I don't think you ever said, although granted, I wasn't exactly there at the time."

Gideon stares at him, then looks at Sara.

"It was a ship," she says after a moment. "A time ship. More than that I cannot say. There was much interference from the…the explosion, but I… pointed it out. Captain Hunter chose to take us back." She glances away. "We never did find the ship. But we found Mr. Snart."

"And not that I'm not grateful for that, but…"

"All right, let's get this bucket back in the air!" Mick storms onto the bridge like the force of nature he so often is, heading for the captain's chair with barely a look at them. "No offense, Gideon."

"None taken, Captain Rory. Although it might be different if I didn't have another option now." The AI turns aside, and Sara's pretty sure she's not imagining relief on Gideon's face. She glances at Leonard, only to find him also looking at her, and the moment of silent communication is so damned familiar that for a microsecond, she almost forgets.

Almost.

But at any rate, they both know Gideon is lying.

Mick's strapped himself in the captain's chair with the ease of long use. "We're about to take off again," he bellows, voice pitched for the comms. "I'll update you all when we get in the time stream. Now, get yer asses down here or strap in where you are."

"Strapping in down in the engine room!" Jax's voice responds over the comm a moment later. "Gray's staying here too!"

Leonard finds a seat and straps in and after a moment, Sara picks out the one beside him.

Gideon sits down neatly in a slightly different seat Sara had noticed among the other jump seats. The AI straps herself in, then pulls a headset of some sort down from the seat's raised back. She carefully arranges it around her temples, then closes her eyes.

"Ready for takeoff, Captain Rory," the familiar voice comes over the ship's comm a few minutes later. "Please, let's get into the time stream as soon as possible. I know this is helpful, but I am less and less accustomed to it."

"We will, Gideon. Promise." Mick frowns a little, looking at the corridor that leads to the crew quarters. "Could you tell me…"

His words, however, are interrupted by footsteps.

"I'm here, I'm here. Sorry, I actually thought I had time for a shower!"

Sara draws in a startled breath as, of all people, Amaya Jiwe runs onto the bridge. She's wearing clothing that's clearing not from her original time, and she's bundling damp hair back on the nape of her neck, but it's unmistakably her. She gives Sara and Leonard a startled glance as she draws near, and Sara knows her confusion is reflected in the other woman's expression.

"How…" she says, right as Amaya says, "What…"

"I'll explain later," Mick says, the words directed at Amaya. "Honest. Let's just get goin' so we can get closer to fixing this mess. It's a doozy."

Amaya frowns, but shakes her head, sitting down and strapping herself in the jump seat that's closest to Mick. Sara, watching, feels her eyes widen as the woman reaches out and rests a very familiar hand on Mick's knee even as the man starts punching controls.

With a roar, the Waverider takes off, rising into the sky and from there, into the time stream. Heading for the Vanishing Point and, Sara hopes, a few more answers.


End file.
